The 8 Things Not To Say To A Toddler Mom{by a toddler mom}

toddler [n]:

a young child who has started walking but not fully mastered it, typically between the ages of 1 and 3 years old; a time of great cognitive, emotional and social development.

see also: demon-spawn, terror, emotional basket-case, asshole.

I HAVE A TODDLER and my life may never be the same again. GOOD-BYE are the days of restful sleep, quiet dinner outings, reasonable conversations, clean floors, and a moment of peace. IF YOU ARE rolling your eyes at me already, then I advise you to exit this post now because the rest of it is truth BUT if you are a toddler mom, then you will feel me on this!

I NEEDED TO shed some light on the funnier side of raising a toddler, and what I have heard from people. It’s all in good fun. I love my kiddos and wouldn’t trade ’em for nothing. {well maybe i’d trade them for a day at the spa. no i’m kidding}

So if your an overly tired, stressed out to the max, patience thinning toddler mom {like hello,me} here are some things you are so freaking sick of hearing from other people about your toddler.

 

“OH, IT’S NOT THAT BAD!”

uh-huh. uh-huh…. okay, Susan. Are you dealing with the 89 tantrums a day over simple things such as the having the wrong colored sippy-cup or not being able to smell the color yellow? Are you waking up five times a night because your toddler STILL DOESN’T sleep through the night? Yes, I know that my kid could be setting frogs on fire or in the neighborhood baby gang but telling me “it’s not THAT BAD” is like telling a sleep-deprived new mom that it will “get better”.. which brings me to my next one.

 

“IT WILL GET BETTER SOME-DAY!”

Oh great. I’m glad you are here to tell me that, just like the 20 people before you. You see, hearing that “it will get better some-day” reallly doesn’t help me NOW- because NOW I am overly-tired and thinking of those days when my toddler was a sweet and cuddly newborn that didn’t scream at the top of his lungs then proceed to hit me. And when is ‘some-day’? That phrase is literally so vague. Some-day can mean tomorrow, next week, next year, in five years. I NEED TO KNOW WHEN.

 

“IT’S THE AGE!”

Well, Thank You for confirming this. Now I can be sure that my kid isn’t an a-hole to me just for the fun of it. BUT SERIOUSLY. Why is this even okay to say? I understand that kids go through “phases”… BUT AGAIN, IT DOES NOT HELP MY SITUATION. Because from what I have been hearing, there is a phase for every age until they are 18. SO. Just bite your tongue and don’t mention it. It irks me.

 

“BOYS WILL BE BOYS!”

THIS BOTHERS ME. Just because I have boys doesn’t give them the right to “ACT LIKE A BOY” {some-one tell me what this even means} NO. My kid will act like the well-respected young man that I am trying to raise him as. No pushing. No throwing dirt. No acting like some back-yard hooligan. He will be held accountable for his actions no matter of his damn gender. People that say this, please STOP.

 

“YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL!”

Do you think that I don’t know that? One time I was in the grocery store….with my screaming newborn in a baby carrier and my toddler hollering in the cart because he couldn’t eat “just one” GRAPE and an older-lady looked at me with this look {a look of pity? sarcasm? understanding?} and said the words “oh sweetie, you have your hands full all-right!” I just wanted to break down right there. EVERY-DAY OF MY LIFE I have my hands full! While I can’t say that toddlers make it EASY, they sure don’t make it BORING!

 

“YOU LOOK TIRED!”

Well I look tired because I AM TIRED. I’m not sure, but it might be because I haven’t had a full well-rested night’s worth of sleep in over 2 years. I also haven’t been able to put on make-up in months, style my hair longer than 5 minutes, shower in 3 days and I don’t remember if I brushed my teeth today. #sendhelp

 

“JUST GET A BABY-SITTER FOR A KID-FREE NIGHT!”

Yeah, okay. That is easier said than done. Try being in a different country and not knowing too many people you trust to babysit your kid. No family around. Also, your toddler still wakes up for you at night and is going through some serious separation issues. PLUS, throw in some mom-guilt for being away from your baby and that’s a recipe for never having a date-night. Netflix & chill it is.

And then I had to save my absolute favorite for last…

“JUST WAIT!”

I hear this. Just wait. “3s are way worse. 4s suck, too. and ages 10-18 are no cake-walk.” Jesus. This literally gives us parents no hope for sanity. Like ever. Thanks for the, er, motivation?

With all that being said, raising a toddler IS ACTUALLY FUN! They are imaginative, silly, and beginning to emerge into tiny little people with their own personalities and quirks. They are going through some serious shit, with trying to cope with their feelings and emotions and expressing themselves. It’s hard on them, but it’s hard on us, too. Don’t sell yourself short on your bad days. Go with the flow & know that you’re doing the best job you can with these tiny terrors!

 

One thought on “The 8 Things Not To Say To A Toddler Mom{by a toddler mom}

  1. Cat says:

    If this isn’t the most truthful info about raising a toddler, I don’t know what is! They are the most amazing, funny and demonic little beings ever(haha)! I’m with you though, wouldn’t trade her for anything!

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