15 Things I’ve Learned During My First Year With 2 Kids

My last baby will be turning a whole year-old next month and with that, I would like to reflect on a couple of things.

My boys are 18months apart; so when I found out that I was pregnant with #2 when #1 was just shy of a year old….well, I was kind of scared.

Not scared….more like frightened.

It’s been a bumpy road, my friends; and having “Irish twins” as they call it is certainly not for the faint of heart. However, when it’s all said and done, this past year has been a whirlwind of emotions(happy and sad), filled with joy and laughs. I’ve learned a lot about myself (especially that I’m stronger than I believe) and I’ve been able to function on a lot less sleep than I ever thought possible.

So I wanted to write down some things that I’ve come to learn during this first year of having 2 children.

In case any of of you lovely people are brave enough to venture into it.

 

  1. Going from 1 to 2 kids is a hard adjustment. I heard it before I even got pregnant and I’ll sit here and tell you now: it’s not a lie…adjusting from 1 to 2 kids is really rough. I went through a real emotional period right towards the end of my pregnancy where I felt sad about my oldest not being the only one anymore. It eventually passed but those first couple of weeks adjusting to two little kiddos was hard!
  2. One of them will always need something. In the throws of having a newborn and a toddler, there is a 100% chance that one of them will ALWAYS need something; a midnight feeding, a diaper change, a snack, another feeding, a consoling hug because they are frustrated…SOMETHING.
  3. Poop. Poop every-where. Twice the diaper-duty and twice the amount of poopy diapers. Thankfully, one is potty-trained but it was a real shit show in the beginning. (no pun-intended)
  4. They will never be happy at the same time. My boys are like yin & yang; when one has a good day and is happy, the other has to balance it all out by being pissed off at the world.
  5. They will keep passing colds to one another for pretty much the whole winter. It’s almost a fact that when child catches a cold, it will be spread to the other one. And it will just keep happening until it’s eventually spring-time. Runny noses. Forever.
  6. Hand-me downs are the BEST thing since sliced bread. The best thing about having 2 boys is the fact that my youngest gets to wear all of his big brother’s clothes. ($$$ saved) Let’s face it though; even if I had a girl she would be rocking baseball onesies and dinosaur pants.
  7. Leaving the house to go ANYWHERE will take twice as long. Forever late.
  8. The house will NEVER be clean. When you clean up one child’s mess, there will most likely be a mess from the other child. Embrace it. You have 2 kids now so people sort of get that your house will be a crap show.
  9. They will never sleep at the same time. It will take MONTHS before both of them get their naps in sync and even then, one of them is always bound to wake up earlier than the other.
  10. You will never be caught up on laundry. For some reason, adding an extra kid to the mix means 20x the amount of dirty laundry. You will never get it all done. Laundry. Forever.
  11. You’ll find yourself a lot more “chill” the second time around. Oh, you fell down? Get up, you’re okay. You bumped your head? You’re fine. Food fell on the floor? Just eat it. Way way wayyyy more laid-back with the second baby.
  12.  You’ll find yourself taking less baby pictures of your newborn. I’m so guilty of this….but I just didn’t take *as many* baby pics of my 2nd as I did with my 1st. (Now I know why my parents have more pictures of my older sister than of me). When your juggling two kiddos, life is chaotic! Granted, I still have a lot of him but looking back at his first year, I really wish I took more.
  13. Those car grocery shopping carts at the store are life. And when there’s one available, you know it’s going to be a good day.
  14. The first year (the 2nd time around) it will literally fly by. So enjoy it! Embrace the crazy. It won’t last long.
  15. I’ve learned that my hands are full….but my heart is fuller. There will always be enough love, enough kisses and enough hugs for my 2 boys.

<3

Being A Boy Mom Is Everything I Didn’t Know I Needed

I never knew how much I needed my sons. I never knew how much I needed to be a boy mom.

When I became pregnant, I loved that tiny speck of a seed on that ultrasound…I loved it so much that I felt my heart would burst. What I didn’t know or come to understand yet was how much MORE I would fall in love with a tiny little baby boy I had just met.

My son.

I have 2 sons. I’m a boy mom and it’s the most special thing in my life. I never knew how amazing being a boy mom could be. I get sticky kisses, funny smiles, crazy moments of utter chaos followed by the sweetest cuddles. My boys are everything from rough and fearless to sweet and sensitive. They are everything I could have ever wanted, and much, much more.

The bond I have with my boys is special…it’s irreplaceable. They are momma’s boys and I wouldn’t change that for all the uninterrupted bathroom trips in the world. The way they smile at me or hold my hand melts my heart. I could be a puddle on the floor with just one look from them.

A lot of people tell me that we have to try for a girl, but they’re wrong because I find that being a boy mom is everything that I didn’t know I needed. They fill my heart. They may drive me over the brink of insanity, but I can always guarantee the sweetest of kisses and giggles by the end of the day. They make the hardest day just worth it.

I may never have frilly dresses or long hair to braid but I will have Tonka trucks and muddy football cleats to clean. I have found everything I didn’t know I needed in being a boy mom. My boys give me the most unconditional love but they also give me strength….strength to be a better person..a kinder person. They have held my hand when I felt weak and showed me compassion when I felt sad.

Their tiny, little hands will soon grow, and faster than I know, they will no longer want to hold my hand or follow me in the bathroom. One day, they won’t want to be glued by my side or let me cuddle them. I want to freeze them at this age of craziness and complete innocence but I know that’s not possible. I want to hold their tiny hands and guide them through this world. I never want them to feel alone or scare. And while they are constantly growing and changing, one thing will always remain the same; that in my eyes, they will always be my baby.

I always knew that I wanted to be a mom and while I some-days feel like I am failing them, they still love me. I know this by their constant laughter and happy, chubby-cheeked smiles.  I hope I can raise good boys but what matters most is raising kind boys…kind boys that hold the door open for their girlfriend and stand-up for the kid being picked on at recess.

They are my world, my everything. I gave my boys life but the real truth is: that they gave me life.

<3

 

 

The 8 Things Not To Say To A Toddler Mom{by a toddler mom}

toddler [n]:

a young child who has started walking but not fully mastered it, typically between the ages of 1 and 3 years old; a time of great cognitive, emotional and social development.

see also: demon-spawn, terror, emotional basket-case, asshole.

I HAVE A TODDLER and my life may never be the same again. GOOD-BYE are the days of restful sleep, quiet dinner outings, reasonable conversations, clean floors, and a moment of peace. IF YOU ARE rolling your eyes at me already, then I advise you to exit this post now because the rest of it is truth BUT if you are a toddler mom, then you will feel me on this!

I NEEDED TO shed some light on the funnier side of raising a toddler, and what I have heard from people. It’s all in good fun. I love my kiddos and wouldn’t trade ’em for nothing. {well maybe i’d trade them for a day at the spa. no i’m kidding}

So if your an overly tired, stressed out to the max, patience thinning toddler mom {like hello,me} here are some things you are so freaking sick of hearing from other people about your toddler.

 

“OH, IT’S NOT THAT BAD!”

uh-huh. uh-huh…. okay, Susan. Are you dealing with the 89 tantrums a day over simple things such as the having the wrong colored sippy-cup or not being able to smell the color yellow? Are you waking up five times a night because your toddler STILL DOESN’T sleep through the night? Yes, I know that my kid could be setting frogs on fire or in the neighborhood baby gang but telling me “it’s not THAT BAD” is like telling a sleep-deprived new mom that it will “get better”.. which brings me to my next one.

 

“IT WILL GET BETTER SOME-DAY!”

Oh great. I’m glad you are here to tell me that, just like the 20 people before you. You see, hearing that “it will get better some-day” reallly doesn’t help me NOW- because NOW I am overly-tired and thinking of those days when my toddler was a sweet and cuddly newborn that didn’t scream at the top of his lungs then proceed to hit me. And when is ‘some-day’? That phrase is literally so vague. Some-day can mean tomorrow, next week, next year, in five years. I NEED TO KNOW WHEN.

 

“IT’S THE AGE!”

Well, Thank You for confirming this. Now I can be sure that my kid isn’t an a-hole to me just for the fun of it. BUT SERIOUSLY. Why is this even okay to say? I understand that kids go through “phases”… BUT AGAIN, IT DOES NOT HELP MY SITUATION. Because from what I have been hearing, there is a phase for every age until they are 18. SO. Just bite your tongue and don’t mention it. It irks me.

 

“BOYS WILL BE BOYS!”

THIS BOTHERS ME. Just because I have boys doesn’t give them the right to “ACT LIKE A BOY” {some-one tell me what this even means} NO. My kid will act like the well-respected young man that I am trying to raise him as. No pushing. No throwing dirt. No acting like some back-yard hooligan. He will be held accountable for his actions no matter of his damn gender. People that say this, please STOP.

 

“YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL!”

Do you think that I don’t know that? One time I was in the grocery store….with my screaming newborn in a baby carrier and my toddler hollering in the cart because he couldn’t eat “just one” GRAPE and an older-lady looked at me with this look {a look of pity? sarcasm? understanding?} and said the words “oh sweetie, you have your hands full all-right!” I just wanted to break down right there. EVERY-DAY OF MY LIFE I have my hands full! While I can’t say that toddlers make it EASY, they sure don’t make it BORING!

 

“YOU LOOK TIRED!”

Well I look tired because I AM TIRED. I’m not sure, but it might be because I haven’t had a full well-rested night’s worth of sleep in over 2 years. I also haven’t been able to put on make-up in months, style my hair longer than 5 minutes, shower in 3 days and I don’t remember if I brushed my teeth today. #sendhelp

 

“JUST GET A BABY-SITTER FOR A KID-FREE NIGHT!”

Yeah, okay. That is easier said than done. Try being in a different country and not knowing too many people you trust to babysit your kid. No family around. Also, your toddler still wakes up for you at night and is going through some serious separation issues. PLUS, throw in some mom-guilt for being away from your baby and that’s a recipe for never having a date-night. Netflix & chill it is.

And then I had to save my absolute favorite for last…

“JUST WAIT!”

I hear this. Just wait. “3s are way worse. 4s suck, too. and ages 10-18 are no cake-walk.” Jesus. This literally gives us parents no hope for sanity. Like ever. Thanks for the, er, motivation?

With all that being said, raising a toddler IS ACTUALLY FUN! They are imaginative, silly, and beginning to emerge into tiny little people with their own personalities and quirks. They are going through some serious shit, with trying to cope with their feelings and emotions and expressing themselves. It’s hard on them, but it’s hard on us, too. Don’t sell yourself short on your bad days. Go with the flow & know that you’re doing the best job you can with these tiny terrors!