Why Raising Toddlers {close in age} Is Really, Really Exhausting AF

Hi. *yawns*. O, I’m sorry. I’m just rubbing my tired eyeballs as I try to chug my second cup of coffee before icicles form on top of my “World’s Best Mom” mug. I’m also trying to prevent one child from grabbing a knife from the kitchen counter while screaming at the other one to not jump off the sofa.

Contrary to what that mug says, I’ve been feeling less than anyone’s ‘best mom’ these days. Perhaps I’m too hard on myself but lately, I feel like my kids are getting the short end of the stick. They’re both going through some rough ‘phases’ right now and it’s hell. Why? Because raising toddlers is really, really exhausting.

No, I’m not just really tired, I’m exhausted. I’m emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted.

The moment when I peed on that stick and those two faint lines appeared, I knew how hard it was going to be having kids just 18 months apart. It was like all of the worse things flashed before my eyes: double dirty-diapers, double melt-downs, double teething, double the fights, double the chaos.

In the beginning– it was hard. Now? It’s harder. You may think that I have my hands full and you are absolutely correct. 

Motherhood was golden when my second son was just an infant– he slept 95% of the time and wasn’t mobile. Sure, I had to factor in the multiple feedings per day and my first son going through the whole ‘big brother transition’, but looking back, THAT was the easy part. Phew. I was so naive back then.

I now have a 2.5 and 1 year old and I’m drowning. I’m not being dramatic, by any means, because I really, really am drowning– let’s just say that the {proverbial shit hit the fan} once my youngest turned 1. Game. Over.

If you’re curious as to why, I listed some of the reasons below. (And if you have two kids really close in age, then you feel me on this sista.)

 


 

They are beginning to fight with each-other.

I thought that I had a few more years before I would be refereeing my boys–my oldest will put my other son in a  headlock and pin him down. I’m breaking up fights more than I get to sit down.  O, and it’s not only physical they fight over ANYTHING… who has the better toy, who has the better sippy cup (they’re BOTH BLUE), who has the better food (YOU BOTH HAVE STRAWBERRIES). I feel like my day is 98% telling them to leave each other alone.

One of them is ALWAYS grumpy AF.

The only time my boys are content at the exact same time is when they’re eating or sleeping.

One of them is ALWAYS awake.

 THEY NEVER SLEEP AT THE SAME TIME. It would NEVER, EVER happen if both of them napped at the exact, same sweet time. Never. That would mean, falling asleep and waking up at the exact, same sweet time. And night-time is a gamble since our oldest sleeps IN our bed and frequently tosses and turns.

There’s always a phase.

One of them is ALWAYS going through some sort of ‘phase’ that makes life hard AF– because, like I said earlier, one of them is always grumpy.

Going out of the house feels like a freaking marathon.

If I could stay in my house 24/7 (without the risk of my boys or MYSELF going completely insane) I would. The whole process of going out is soooo daunting that if I’m planning on being out with my two boys, it better be worth it.

Grocery shopping is Hell.

If I had a to describe what Hell would be like, it would be grocery shopping with two toddlers. I can’t say much more about it except… I loathe it with every fiber in me.

They feed off of each-other.

Ugh. Yes. Whenever one of them has an uber melt-down moment, it’s a guarantee that the other one will! My youngest is notorious for being a ‘sympathy crier’ so if my oldest is in time-out and crying, my youngest immediately reacts. The worse is probably when we’re in the car and THEY BOTH start going off.

 

So there are a few {of the many} reasons why raising toddlers is exhausting! Can you relate? Don’t forget mama, we’re in this crazy and hectic mom-life together. x.

Continue Reading

Why Grocery Shopping is my Hell

Out of all my adult-y responsibilities, the one which I loathe the most would be grocery shopping. Ugh.

It’s kind of funny though (or ironic) because when I was a kid, I would LOVE to go to the supermarket with my mom or dad. I would hang on the back of the shopping cart, pick out the best goodies like Dunkaroos and colored fruit juices shaped like barrels, and pull out as many coupons from those red coupon machines. It was bliss. I also loved to sneak those little candies that were set out- surprise- that is actually illegal. Moving on.

Now that I’m an adult that’s nearing 30 and a mom to two toddlers, I have realized one and true thing: grocery shopping is my Hell.

There is hardly anything cute or fun about taking a trip to a supermarket with toddlers. Heck, even when I go by myself it’s a struggle! Once again, my faith in society gets lost when I realize how rude people are over a $1.99 CHIPS AHOY sale. It’s also such a daunting process of making a list, actually driving to the store, finding your groceries, checking out, loading up your car, then driving home and unloading it all AND FINALLY putting it away. I’m tired thinking about that.

My late-Grandmother {bless her heart} used to get her groceries delivered to her. She was a genius. Sadly, not every grocery store offers this AMAZING luxury {but uhm, why not? they could make A KILLING. Because I know a lot of tired and overwhelmed mamas that would devour this option.}

Ok. Ok. So getting to my point here. My recent grocery trip inspired me to compile together the reasons why I loathe doing the weekly grocery-thing.

You want to make sure to read to the end so you could score a free grocery shopping checklist that will save you mega-time in the store with your tiny humans.

 

 

The car shopping carts for kids.

Those things are like GOLD and in the rarity that there is one available (and you better pray you can get one), it’s anything but fun to push around a crowded store. But it keeps my kids sane…for the first ten minutes. Soon enough, all hell breaks loose because they’re sitting too close to each-other and a screaming/fighting battle ensues. O, and did I mention how SMALL those car carts are? Can’t plan on buying too much that day or one kid will end up walking beside you so you could fit your Charmin Ultra-Soft in.

It’s not possible to just get in and out.

I ALWAYS vow to myself to buy what’s only on my list….to go straight to what I NEED to get out of there fast. That never works because nine times out of ten, I can’t find what I’m looking for (stop changing your shit around!) or my oldest is begging for cheese at the deli and now I have to wait twenty-minutes for freaking cheese.

The never-ending begging from the tiny people.

Now that my oldest can communicate fairly well, he ALWAYS points out stuff he wants at the grocery store. He will say please..I will say no…he will say please again…and whine and I will cave. I’ve gotten tired of constantly telling him no, so we agreed on “one treat per shopping visit” and that lasts for twenty seconds…until he sees a dog toy soccer ball and wants it. Good lord.

My realization that people are oblivious is mind-numbing.

I can be a real people-person….but if you’ve seen me in a grocery store, then probably not. My anxiety is at an all-time high when I’m food shopping and my kids aren’t the only humans that set it off. PEOPLE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, you do not need to stand in the middle of the aisle. Also, Alice, can you please let me squeeze in there to grab a box of Kraft? Your five-minute meandering over which flavor of cup o’ noodles you should get is a little overboard.

STUFF ISN’T WHERE IT SHOULD BE.

So this one time, I was on a never-ending quest for sun-dried tomatoes and I looked ALL OVER supermarket land. Much to my dismay, I became impatient and frustrated, and left the store without them. The next time, I was determined to locate those freaking sun-dried tomatoes. I finally did. And they weren’t where {I} assumed they would be at. THEY SHOULD BE NEXT TO THE PASTA SAUCE!

CHECK-OUT HELL.

Most of the time, waiting in the check-out line can be just as worse as battling off my kids from the cookie aisle. There’s about 10 people behind me in line YET only ONE register is open. This is when the tiny people begin to melt-down because, bless their hearts, they don’t understand the concept of time and waiting. Self-checkout has become my BFF.

BAGGER HELL.

Ugh. Ultimate pet-peeve right here. MY CHICKEN DOES NOT GO IN WITH MY VEGGIES. This should just be baggers-101 or something but I KNOW I’m not the only person that feels strongly over this. There’s also a very fine line of putting way too many canned items into ONE plastic bag OR putting one, single box of granola bars into a bag by itself. I don’t get it. Again, self-checkout. BFF.

Arguing with the self-checkout machine.

Ok. I know. I said that the self-checkout and I were BFFs, but only up until the point when it repeatedly tells me to move my item to the bagging area. I DID!! And that’s when I find myself arguing with a self-checkout machine that I know I need a mental time-out.

Continue Reading

The 8 Things Not To Say To A Toddler Mom{by a toddler mom}

toddler [n]:

a young child who has started walking but not fully mastered it, typically between the ages of 1 and 3 years old; a time of great cognitive, emotional and social development.

see also: demon-spawn, terror, emotional basket-case, asshole.

I HAVE A TODDLER and my life may never be the same again. GOOD-BYE are the days of restful sleep, quiet dinner outings, reasonable conversations, clean floors, and a moment of peace. IF YOU ARE rolling your eyes at me already, then I advise you to exit this post now because the rest of it is truth BUT if you are a toddler mom, then you will feel me on this!

I NEEDED TO shed some light on the funnier side of raising a toddler, and what I have heard from people. It’s all in good fun. I love my kiddos and wouldn’t trade ’em for nothing. {well maybe i’d trade them for a day at the spa. no i’m kidding}

So if your an overly tired, stressed out to the max, patience thinning toddler mom {like hello,me} here are some things you are so freaking sick of hearing from other people about your toddler.

 

“OH, IT’S NOT THAT BAD!”

uh-huh. uh-huh…. okay, Susan. Are you dealing with the 89 tantrums a day over simple things such as the having the wrong colored sippy-cup or not being able to smell the color yellow? Are you waking up five times a night because your toddler STILL DOESN’T sleep through the night? Yes, I know that my kid could be setting frogs on fire or in the neighborhood baby gang but telling me “it’s not THAT BAD” is like telling a sleep-deprived new mom that it will “get better”.. which brings me to my next one.

 

“IT WILL GET BETTER SOME-DAY!”

Oh great. I’m glad you are here to tell me that, just like the 20 people before you. You see, hearing that “it will get better some-day” reallly doesn’t help me NOW- because NOW I am overly-tired and thinking of those days when my toddler was a sweet and cuddly newborn that didn’t scream at the top of his lungs then proceed to hit me. And when is ‘some-day’? That phrase is literally so vague. Some-day can mean tomorrow, next week, next year, in five years. I NEED TO KNOW WHEN.

 

“IT’S THE AGE!”

Well, Thank You for confirming this. Now I can be sure that my kid isn’t an a-hole to me just for the fun of it. BUT SERIOUSLY. Why is this even okay to say? I understand that kids go through “phases”… BUT AGAIN, IT DOES NOT HELP MY SITUATION. Because from what I have been hearing, there is a phase for every age until they are 18. SO. Just bite your tongue and don’t mention it. It irks me.

 

“BOYS WILL BE BOYS!”

THIS BOTHERS ME. Just because I have boys doesn’t give them the right to “ACT LIKE A BOY” {some-one tell me what this even means} NO. My kid will act like the well-respected young man that I am trying to raise him as. No pushing. No throwing dirt. No acting like some back-yard hooligan. He will be held accountable for his actions no matter of his damn gender. People that say this, please STOP.

 

“YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL!”

Do you think that I don’t know that? One time I was in the grocery store….with my screaming newborn in a baby carrier and my toddler hollering in the cart because he couldn’t eat “just one” GRAPE and an older-lady looked at me with this look {a look of pity? sarcasm? understanding?} and said the words “oh sweetie, you have your hands full all-right!” I just wanted to break down right there. EVERY-DAY OF MY LIFE I have my hands full! While I can’t say that toddlers make it EASY, they sure don’t make it BORING!

 

“YOU LOOK TIRED!”

Well I look tired because I AM TIRED. I’m not sure, but it might be because I haven’t had a full well-rested night’s worth of sleep in over 2 years. I also haven’t been able to put on make-up in months, style my hair longer than 5 minutes, shower in 3 days and I don’t remember if I brushed my teeth today. #sendhelp

 

“JUST GET A BABY-SITTER FOR A KID-FREE NIGHT!”

Yeah, okay. That is easier said than done. Try being in a different country and not knowing too many people you trust to babysit your kid. No family around. Also, your toddler still wakes up for you at night and is going through some serious separation issues. PLUS, throw in some mom-guilt for being away from your baby and that’s a recipe for never having a date-night. Netflix & chill it is.

And then I had to save my absolute favorite for last…

“JUST WAIT!”

I hear this. Just wait. “3s are way worse. 4s suck, too. and ages 10-18 are no cake-walk.” Jesus. This literally gives us parents no hope for sanity. Like ever. Thanks for the, er, motivation?

With all that being said, raising a toddler IS ACTUALLY FUN! They are imaginative, silly, and beginning to emerge into tiny little people with their own personalities and quirks. They are going through some serious shit, with trying to cope with their feelings and emotions and expressing themselves. It’s hard on them, but it’s hard on us, too. Don’t sell yourself short on your bad days. Go with the flow & know that you’re doing the best job you can with these tiny terrors!

 

Continue Reading