How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

Okay mamas, let’s admit it: we all have suffered from mom guilt from one time or another. Maybe it’s because we bottle fed instead of breastfeed or let our kids eat Fruity Pebbles for dinner– whatever the case, the mom-guilt just happens. We are all human.

Mom-guilt hit me full-force when I was struggling with my postpartum depression.

 

How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

 

As moms, we not only want the absolute best for our babies, but we want to BE the best FOR our babies. Let me tell you right now, mama: that is NOT always going to be possible (or realistic!) If you’re struggling with postpartum depression right now, you already know what I mean by feeling the mom-guilt— it can be so debilitating and exhausting! But, I can promise you one thing: it will not last forever.

I’ve managed to learn a few things along my journey with PPD and I want to share them with you.

 

How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

 

Admit that you need help sooner than later

If you believe that you have PPD, let me tell you something mama– it’s way better to seek help now than later.

I will admit that I waited too long to seek help and it was a lot harder for me to get back to being my old-self.

I also learned that it’s perfectly fine to admit that you need help! It doesn’t make you a bad mom!

 

How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

 

Stop falling into the traps

There are so many traps of motherhood– believing that we need to always be physically and emotionally present for our children may be ranked number one on that list. It’s very easy to get caught-up in these feelings, it’s even easier to guilt ourselves into thinking that we are a “bad mom.”

When we struggle with PPD, it’s incredibly difficult to feel like we are doing “our best” as a mom. The truth is, many days, we don’t even feel like getting out of bed and getting dressed, let alone plaster on a happy face to take care of tiny humans.

It took me over two years to realize something: I will never be the perfect mom. I will never be totally available for my kids 24/7– things may happen completely out of my control. I won’t always be able to make my kids happy. And all of that is perfectly okay.

You are struggling with PPD and in this moment of your life, it’s okay to not be totally available, it’s okay to not be happy all of the time. Remember: you are still human, and it’s okay to not be okay.

How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

Find your tribe

Postpartum depression can feel like you are the only one in the world going through it. I want to reassure you, that is the furthest from the truth.

It is possible to get through this, and finding your tribe makes postpartum depression so much more bearable to get through.

 

How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

When you find your tribe, other women that you can connect and relate with, you will find so much support with your PPD– you will know that you are not alone. It’s also essential to get out and talk with other moms and to vent about how shitty motherhood can sometimes be (I won’t sugarcoat that, honey.)

I think it’s critical to have at least one mom-friend that you can call whenever the proverbial shit hits the fan. We need to know that we’re not the only mamas struggling in the trenches of motherhood.

 

Do it for your babies

You need to get into the mind-set that your babies need you and they need you to be a healthy mama.

Perhaps you feel guilty whenever you practice self-care (again, another pesky mom-trap) but you need to know that taking time for yourself isn’t only beneficial for you, but for your babies.

How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

The same goes with reaching out for help– it’s all part of that self-care love that you, as a mama, need to practice.

Remember: you need to be the best mama that you can be for your babies. They need you. They love you.

 

Know your worth

Mama, you have to know your worth in this world, and that is this– you’re an awesome, bad-ass mama that can get through anything. Now is the time to say, screw those people that want to judge you, they don’t know you.

How to Manage the Mom Guilt from Postpartum Depression

I want you to start to focus on you. I want you to start to eliminate all of the garbage from your life– whether it’s a toxic relationship, social media, or self-loathing, I want you to eliminate all of that and focus on yourself.

You are so much more than you give yourself credit for, and it’s time for you to start to acknowledge that!

 

Those are some of the ways that I stumbled through my mom-guilt while I was struggling with PPD. I have to say, that I’ve really come a long way– the mom-guilt is no where near as strong as it used to be. Maybe I needed to grow more as a women, or maybe I needed to grow more as a mother, but whatever the case may be, I know I was able to push through it thanks to close support and of course, this blog. <3 so thank you, my trusted readers! You have given me the outlet I needed.

Now, I want to hear from you– have you experience the mom-guilt? What was it, and how did you deal with it? Leave me a comment or message me.

 

 

Continue Reading

How to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression

It’s easy to put off getting treatment for postpartum depression or anxiety when your a busy mom but unfortunately, having no time isn’t the only reason for not seeking treatment. One huge reason may be that moms don’t know where to even go or to talk to for help. And if you do find someone to talk to, when will you go? Who will watch the kids?

 

disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links which, when you purchase an item, can help me continue to run my blog (yes, it cost money to keep this thing going!)

Thankfully, thanks to modern technology, help has come a far way from sitting in your therapist’s office on a chaise lounge. Now, you can get help from the comfort of your own home. And in your PJs, if you please.

I’ve put together a few ways to get online help for postpartum depression

 

How to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression

Online therapy

Online therapy is a thing, and yes it is legit.

You can sign up for online therapy in the comfort of your own home and have the ability to speak with your therapist through a live chat or e-mail.  There is no waiting for a referral from your doctor or sitting in a stuffy waiting room.

Online therapy is great because:

you don’t have to leave your house, so you don’t have to worry about the stress of finding someone to watch your kids.

somedays we don’t feel like leaving the comfort of our home and interacting with people.

you don’t sit face-to-face with a therapist, so it appears a little less intimidating.

you get a therapist fitted to your needs.

you can arrange your sessions on your time.

you have a plethora of resources at your disposal– much more than a therapy session, you get workbooks, meditation, and much more– available to you whenever you need it.

 

How to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression

 

Send a text

Sending a text message can literally save your life.

When your feeling overwhelmed, talking to someone on the phone may feel like an impossible task, but texting is a modern convenience that moms can take advantage of.

Here are numbers you can text for 24/7 help:

IN THE US:

Text HOME to 741741 for any type of crisis and a trained counselor from the Crisis Text Line will respond 24/7.

CANADA:

Text HOME to 686868

 

You can also text the Postpartum Support International’s Warmline at 503-894-9453 for information and to get support and resources close to where you live.

 

How to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression

 

Make a phone call

There are numerous hotlines you can call when you need to reach out for help.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

US:

1-800-273- TALK (8255)

CANADA:

1-833-456-4566

INTERNATIONALLY:

International Bipolar Foundation has a list of international phone numbers.

Join a Facebook support group

There are Facebook support groups out there for every mom that needs help and encouragement. I know how tough it may be to want to open up to someone about the feelings you are having and especially to people you don’t even know. But a Facebook support group is great because you can be as active (or inactive) as you’d like.

Here are some Facebook support groups for PPD and anxiety:

A New Day Peer Support Group for Moms with Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression & Anxiety Support Group

PPD and anxiety: Moms Helping Moms

Life After Baby (PostPartum Depression/Anxiety Support)

 

How to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression

 

Download an App

In this ever-so-growing-technology World, there is literally, an app for that. Busy moms can now download an app at to have for their own convenience and help.

Here are some apps you can download for PPD and PPA:

PPD ACT- The app will be a way for us to collect information for the study, which has two parts. You will be given feedback about your responses to the questions. We can point you toward doctors in your area who specialize in evaluating and treating women with postpartum depression.  Available on iOS devices in Australia, Canada and the US and on Android devices in Australia and US.

MGH Perinatal Depression Scale (MGHPDS)- a free iPhone application designed to refine how women around the world are screened for postpartum depression (PPD). The app includes questionnaires about mood, anxiety, sleep and stress at important time periods during and after pregnancy. The questionnaires will identify which specific symptoms are most critical in the diagnosis of PPD in women ages 18-45 who are pregnant or up to 12 weeks postpartum. 

Announcing the MGH Perinatal Depression Scale at the App Store- The MGHPDS smartphone app includes digital versions of perinatal depression screening tools including the Edinburgh Postpartum Depression Scale (EPDS) as well as other instruments which measure relevant symptoms associated with peripartum psychiatric illness: sleep disturbance, anxiety and perceived stress.

 

How to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression

Message a Friend

It’s always nice to have an open support connection with a friend that can be your emergency contact in times of need. This friend should be someone you can absolutely trust and depend on to help you when you really need it.

With the vast array of information at your fingertips, it can be easy to find help for postpartum depression, but please always consult your doctor, especially if you believe your PPD is getting worse.

 

 

Continue Reading

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

Hey there, mama! I see you. I know how stressed and exhausted you are– because you put everyone’s needs before your own and that can be so draining. I’ve learned that it’s sooo vital to my happiness and well-being to develop healthy habits.

disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links which, when you purchase an item, can help me continue to run my blog (yes, it cost money to keep this thing going!)

 

I set out on a quest– to find out which healthy habits other mamas do to stay happy, and I’ve received some phenomenal responses.

I’m going to share these real responses

But first….

get a refresher on how important self-care is for you.

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

 

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

1.

“I take a bath every Friday morning. I use essential oils, pour in some Epsom salts, I exfoliate my skin, shave my legs. To ensure I get my 30 minutes of peace, my 3 year gets screen time and I nurse my newborn and put her in her vibrating chair. I love my once a week self care ritual because on every other day of the week I take a really rushed shower.”

-Molly

 

I recommend Dr Teal’s epsom salt soaking solution.

2.

“Eating healthy.”

-Janis

 

3.

“It is vital to my happiness as a mom (and person!) to maintain strong connections with friends – particularly in person. I am so much more fulfilled, happy, and ready to be patient, silly, playful, and understanding if I have regular time with my mom friends!”

-Kelsey

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

4.

“Getting up early before everyone else every morning, so I can have a quiet breakfast and get everything organized for my day before the crazy chaos begins.”

-Leidys T.

 

5.

I make time for myself away from the kids, the daily routine, and do something for myself. A pedicure, a massage, or some retail therapy.

-Shelbie Y.

 

6.

“A shower or bath to myself.”
-Jennifer H.
7. 

“Working out.”

-Amanda G.

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

8.

“Cleaning.”

-Kayli

 

9.

“Taking time for myself and the things that I love every day, even if just for five minutes.”

-Emmielley D.

 

10.

“Taking walks with my family.”

-Candi

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

11.

“Home cooked meals.”

-Brianna H.

 

12.

“Being able to put on my headphones and either take a walk or dance.”

-Laura P.

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

13.

“I take an hour out side of the house once a week and just be me. I’m a work at home mom and it’s my alone time!”

-Jenni

 

14.

“I brush my teeth.”

-Joanie B.

15.

“Exercise (when I can make time and have the motivation and energy for it!).” -Genni

 

16.

“My husband and I have a regular weekend night sitter so that we can go on date nights at least twice each month. This habit has been fantastic not only for our marriage and staying connected, but also for my mental health and happiness. Just having the occasions to get dressed up and feel like a woman outside of “Mommy” has allowed me to maintain my sense of self. With four kids, it is all too easy to lose yourself in the parenting role so the date nights have been a game-changer for keeping me happy and healthy.”

-Caitlin from www.realmomrecs.com

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

17.

“Eliminating toxins from my home. This keeps me energized, reduces illness and keeps my moods balanced.”

-Bri Pruitt from www.hippiedippiemom.com

 

18.

“Going on a brisk, 50 minute walk every morning.”

-Kelli F.

 

19.

“Taking some time away to get my hair done. It’s something I neglected for a while. Once I started getting it done I realized how much better I felt about myself because my hair looked good”

-Brenda

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

20.

“I make time to play with them, even if it’s just 15 minutes. The one on one (or two) time is great for our family bond. Sometimes we craft, sometimes we dance together, or we play a short game of Uno. I always have some ideas for kids games. Really, 15 minutes of fun and laughter each day can make such a difference.”

-Tiana

 

21.

“Taking an evening walk with my daughter. I’m getting exercise and exposing her to the same routine.”

-Keyona from www.professionalmomma.com

 

22.

“CrossFit – 1 hour 2-3x a week is my “me time” and keeps me energized.”

-Danielle from www.workingmomapproved.com

 

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

 

23.

“Taking time in the morning to exercise! It reduces stress & anxiety and gives me an energy boost that lasts all day.”

-Amy from themultitaskingmomlife.com 

 

24.

“Daily scripture study, even if it is just 5 minutes! It makes a HUGE difference in my patience level with my young children. And if it a particularly rough day, we will listen to gospel music in the background while we homeschool.”

-Tiffany T. from thecrazyshoppingcart .com

 

26 Healthy Habits Real Moms do to Stay Happy

25.

“It’s really hard to answer this with just one healthy habit! But if I have to choose I think the biggest thing that postively impacts my happiness is making time for myself and my relationship with my husband. We’ve kept up a regular weekly or at least monthly date night since our first kid was born 15 years ago. The key for me has not been to hope I can squeeze in a moment alone for myself but to actively *make* the time for it and prioritize my own needs. I began training my kids when they were little to respect mommy’s quiet time, even if that meant just 15 minutes for me to read a book. Of course I love my children deeply but the universe does not revolve around them!”

-Liane from talesofascrunchymom.com

 

26.

“I take social media breaks when I’m feeling depressed or overwhelmed. I have found that reducing my time on facebook has greatly affected my mood….in a positive way.”

-Laura from excuse-the-mess.com

 

 

There you go– 26 healthy habits real moms do to stay happy. What do you do to stay happy? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Continue Reading

5 Essential Oils That Moms Use to Battle Stress

I love essential oils. I know, it’s crazy—  I never expected to be so into the whole oily thing but once I tried them, I wonder why I was always so against them. Really. They can do wonders, ESPECIALLY to help fight off the moodies and the stress life. Aka Mom Life.

*disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links which, when you purchase an item, can help me continue to run my blog (yes, it cost money to keep this thing going!)

 

I’m always on the hunt for (natural) ways to help reduce my stress…. and essential oils may be the best tool for that. I found 5 oily moms and I asked them which essential oils that they recommend to help battle off stress.

But first….

 let’s get to the very basics.

What are essential oils?

An essential oil is a natural product extracted from a single plant species. Not all plants produce essential oils but the plants that do, the essential oil may be found in the roots, stems and leaves. Once the aromatic chemicals have been extracted, they are combined with a carrier oil to create a product that’s ready for use. *healthline.com

Essential oils are concentrated plant extracts that retain the natural smell and flavor, or “essence,” of their source.

 

How to use essential oils.

There are quite a few ways that you can use essential oils (contrary to what I used to believe, it does not include slapping some oil onto your body).

 

On your body.

When applying essential oils on your body, use a carrier oil.

It’s always a good idea to avoid putting an essential oil straight on your body– using a carrier oil will help avoid skin sensitivities because an essential oil alone is too strong to use straight.

I choose coconut oil as my carrier oil when applying essential oils on my kids or myself.

 

Diffuse them.

Buying an essential oil diffuser  was the best decision I made last winter. My kids went through bouts of the ickies, and diffusing oils like orange and oregano helped shorten the duration of their colds by so much.

Diffusing oils is a great way to have your home smelling amazing– without all of the yucky chemicals that candles or scented wax have.

Here is my favorite oil diffuser that is under $20! I use this in the our bedrooms.

 

Clean with them.

Ditch those yucky chemicals, because you can also clean with essential oils.

I use lemon essential oil in my steam mop, orange to polish wood surfaces and oregano to disinfect.

Okay, now let’s get to the good stuff.

 

 

5 Essential Oils That Moms Use to Battle Stress

 

 

 

 

1. Ylang-ylang/  YL ‘Peace and Calming’

5 Essential Oils That Moms Use to Battle Stress

Andrea says:

“ylang ylang is one of the key ingredients in Young Living’s “peace and calming” which is one of my favorite anti-stress oils.. when i have sleep problems it usually zonks me right out when diffused. So i pulled YY out of it because studies have shown it’s a great anxiety reducer and started using it specifically for stress/anxiety mixed with other complementing oils like Lavender or Tangerine”

you can purchase YL’s Peace and Calming below:

 

 

2.Peppermint/eucalyptus mix

5 Essential Oils That Moms Use to Battle Stress

Jamie says:

“This mix also takes my migraines away!”

you can purchase peppermint essential here here:

you can purchase eucalyptus essential oil here:

 

 

3. Orange

5 Essential Oils That Moms Use to Battle Stress

Molly says:

“Smelling orange essential oils gives me an instant boost of happiness. Orange smells cheery and clean and vibrant to me. I associate it with good memories of eating oranges fresh from trees in Florida as a child.”

you can purchase orange essential oil here:

 

 

4. Rose

5 Essential Oils That Moms Use to Battle Stress

Genni says:

“Rose essential oil is another fav. It’s feminine smell is known to elevate the mind and create a sense of well-being!”

you can purchase rose essential oil below:

 

5. Citrus mix {bergamot, orange, lime, grapefruit and lemon oil}

5 Essential Oils That Moms Use to Battle Stress

Jennifer says:

“I use a blend called Cheer up Buttercup with bergamot, orange, lime, grapefruit and lemon essential oils. It’s the combo of stopping to apply, then breathing in the sent to focus on positive thoughts.”

you can purchase the CHEER UP BUTTERCUP blend here:

 

So there you have it– 5 essential oils that moms use to battle stress. Will you try any of these? Let me know in the comments!

 

*Resource:
Healthline.com- What Are Essential Oils and Do They Work? https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/what-are-essential-oils#section1

 

Continue Reading

A List of Postpartum Resources that Every Mom Needs

After my first son was born, I was in the dark about postpartum depression and any other postpartum issues– I had to basically google and educate myself. I left the hospital, both times, with a million papers about breast-feeding and safe-sleeping for the baby, but nothing about taking care of me, the mother. That is why I wanted to write up a list of postpartum resources that every mom needs.

We really need to do better when it comes to mothers and postpartum health. We need to offer all of the resources that we can to every mother but more importantly, we need to support mothers, too.

If you’re about to be a new mama or someone close to you is pregnant, you will want to save this post because it will have SO much valuable information.

My youngest is over a year old now, but I vividly remember how overwhelming the first couple of weeks are with a newborn. It’s a tiring transition! In fact, as a mother, we focus all of our time and energy into our precious newborn baby that we lose sight of what’s just as important: us!

 

 

 

 

Phone numbers and support hot lines:

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

Suicide Prevention and Crisis Hotline:
1 (800) 273-8255

SASS Line:
(775) 221-7600

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1 (800) 273-8255

EMERGENCY:
CALL 9-1-1

Text:
“ANSWER” to 839863

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs
List of suicide crisis lines.

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

24/7/365 Crisis Hotline

Call: 1 (800) 273-8255
Text: “ANSWER” to 839863

 

  • The PSI HelpLine is a toll-free telephone number anyone can call to get basic information, support, and resources-  1-800-944-4773(4PPD)
  •   Text the warmline at:  503-894-9453

 

 

A list of support organizations and health providers:

 

  • A list of organizations that offer support for postpartum depression or postnatal illness support in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, England, Scotland, Ireland, and South Africa:

 http://www.postpartumprogress.com/postpartum-depression-support-organizations-in-the-us-canada-uk-south-africa-australia-new-zealand

 

  • A resource from postpartumprogress.com that assembles a specific list of more than 100 female black mental health providers around the U.S.

Black Mental Health Providers List

 

A list of postpartum resources for every mom
Postpartum practitioner directory

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs
Find a therapist directory

 

 

A list of resources for postpartum depression:

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

 

A list of resources for postpartum anxiety:

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

 

Other postpartum and mental health resources:

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs
Postpartum psychosis resources
A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs
Perinatal obsessive-compulsive symptoms

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

 

A List of Postpartum Resources That Every Mom Needs

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
Behavioral health treatment services locator

Facebook support groups:

Postpartum Depression & Anxiety Support Group

Support Group for Depression, Anxiety and Postpartum

PostPartum/ Depression/Anxiety Support Group

The Postpartum Stress Center

Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression or Anxiety Support

Postpartum Progress

 

 

Articles helpful for postpartum issues:

 

This article talks about the difference between the baby blues or postpartum depression.

 

I talk about 20 reasons why moms don’t speak up about postpartum depression

 

A list of postpartum resoucres for every mom
Here you can read about postpartum anxiety and how to cope.

 

I talk about the 5 things I want moms with postpartum depression to know

 

I share my postpartum depression story that was featured in scary mommy.

 

A list of postpartum issues for every mom
Here you can find great articles on postpartum issues such as PPD, PPA, and more.
Via Postpartumprogress.com- 6 tools to help you feel supported and understood through PPD

 

Support for husbands/partners:

 

A list of postpartum resources for every mom.
I talk about 3 ways you can help your partner through postpartum depression.

 

  • Tips for Postpartum Dads and Partners-  http://www.postpartum.net/family/tips-for-postpartum-dads-and-partners/

 

  • Do you have a helpful postpartum resource that you would like listed here? Please let me know.
  • Do you have a postpartum issue that you want to share or just talk about? I am here for that. I am a trustful and supported source.

Continue Reading